The Adventures of Prince Kili, Battleborn
by BML Hillen-Keene
Summary: In which Kili writes certain parts of his own history to make it seem more interesting. Slightly unrelated part of The Lonely Mountain series. Disclaimer: Don't own


_Complete dedication to C.H.W.13, whom I can't help but find utterly adorable. And because my series is clearly sans enough violence for him/her/it (do let me know which it is), and I am reminded of my headcannon for Kili's personality everytime I read the reviews left, it had to be done._

_Basically, Kili writes his own fanfiction, based on his own life. lol._  
_I may add to this occasionally, but it is not a full on story, so updates, if any would not be frequent._

xxx

It had been a day like any other. The young dwarf, only 10 years old, had been minding his own Business, practicing with his bow above ground. He wasn't really supposed to be there, but he'd snuck out from under Mister Dwalins watchful eye, escaping his training and decided today would be a good day to go hunting in the small forest just down the mountain. His Uncle Thorin would be most impressed if he brought back some rabbits, or maybe even a whole deer. He might even avoid a telling off then.

but his great hunting trip wasn't to be, for when he reached the forest he found it to be full of Orcs, ugly creatures with grey skin and sharp teeth.

"When shall we attack?" one asked.

"The boss said nightfall." another answered.

"Those pesky dwarves won't know what hit them!" the first one cackled.

"We'll feast on dwarf flesh tonight!" the second joined in.

The young dwarf stood frozen, hidden out of sight of the orcs and wondered what he should do. He could run back to the mountain and warn his Uncle Thorin and Mister Dwalin, but what if he didn't get back on time? What if they didn't believe him? What if the Orcs saw him and attacked early?

And then he had an idea. He would scare the Orc's away. Decision made he began to climb the nearest tree, stopping still when an Orc said "What was that?" when the leaves rustled.

"Ghosts." another Orc said sagely, then snickered. "Don't be stupid, it was a squirrel or something."

The young Dwarf waited until they were no longer looking at the tree he was in, before climbing higher. When he was high enough he could see that there were hundreds of Orc's. He carefully strung his bow, and loosed an arrow into the middle of the Orc's. The arrow flew straight and hit an Orc right in the eye. There was an uproar, the Orcs began shouting, wondering where the attack was coming from.

The young dwarf, still unseen, released volley after volley of arrows into them.

"Ghosts!" One Orc cried. "Ghosts in the wood!'

The young dwarf laughed at that and stood on the branch and yelled out so all of the orcs could hear him. "I am Prince Kili, Battleborn and OrcSlayer! Protector of the Blue Mountains! Leave this place!"

The orcs looked ready to run, but their leader, a huge Orc, walked through them and demanded. "Come down and face me dwarf!"

It was a challenge Kili could not refuse, and he climbed down from the tree to stand before the hulking Orc.

"A child?" The Orc laughed. "A mere child! And with but one arrow left and no sword! I could kill you with one hand!"

The Orc attacked, so quickly that Kili nearly did not have time to grab his last arrow and string it, but he jumped back as the Orc swung his club at him and loosed his arrow. It thudded home into the Orc's neck, and the Orc blinked at Kili stupidly, clutching the wound where the blood poured from. And then he fell dead to the ground.

The other Orc's looked at their fallen leader, and back at the young dwarf, and all of them turned and fled. And Kili returned to the mountains where his Uncle Thorin was waiting to meet him. "We saw the whole thing Kili." he said. "You were very brave. And I think you deserve a reward."

Kili thought hard about what sort of reward he wanted before asking. "Could I have an extra desert?"

"You can have as many deserts as you want, Kili Battleborn, OrcSlayer."

xxx

Thorin chuckled, and tucked the story into a neat pile on the table ready for Kili to do what he wanted with it in the morning. His nephew had fallen asleep mid page of a brand new adventure that Thorin looked forward to reading the next evening, curled over the desk, his face smudged with ink.

"Come on OrcSlayer, time for bed." he said, carefully lifting his sleeping nephew, who was getting just a little too big for this kind of thing at 10 years old, and tucked him into his bed. He brushed a hand across his cheek and hoped that Kili would never be in any of the situations he put himself in in his stories, or at the very least, because he knew he could not protect him forever, he hoped he would be close enough to ensure no harm befell him.


End file.
